Return to Sender
by cannyduh
Summary: Matthew Williams finally gathers the nerve to confess to longtime crush, Katyusha, through a love letter. It should've been the start of their high school romance... It's too bad Alfred Jones thinks the note was meant for him instead. US/Can
1. Chapter 1

**Return To Sender**

A/n: Yes, so this plot bunny bit me in the ass one day and would not let go until I put it to paper. But hey, I get a week off from uni so I might as well spend it writing (instead of y'know... studying)

Oh and the Shakespeare quote I used is from Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2. The more you know.

Michelle = Seychelles (Hey, my reasoning is they both end in chelle)

Carlos = Cuba (It was, like, the least weird name listed for him on the wikia. An early draft of this had him as Manuel so if you see a mention of Manuel then ... :|)

**Disclaimer**: If you recognize it, then I don't own it.

* * *

_Dear _,_

_This is probably really sudden but I like you. I really like you. I've liked you for two years and it's been driving me mad. I don't know exactly when it happened and I can't tell you exactly what triggered it. I just know I have a crush on you that's about the size of the CN Tower. It probably started around the time I started staring at the back of your head during class because your blonde hair looked so soft... Or when I tried finding a Crayola crayon that matched the blue of your eyes perfectly (It's a mix between Robin's Egg Blue and Cornflower, by the way). And then suddenly I was noticing stupid little details about you like how you're always wiping at your eyes as if you're about to break out in tears (does that sound stalker-y? I'm not a stalker, I swear). I don't know how or why but I just like everything about you from the way you cut your hair all the way down to your patent, black shoes._

_And I know I should write a poem to sway your favour but I'm no good at poetry so can I quote you Shakespeare instead?_

_'Doubt thou the stars are fire,_

_Doubt that the sun doth move,_

_Doubt truth to be a liar,_

_But never doubt I love."_

_Please at least consider going out with me. Just one date._

_Je t'aime,_

_Matt W._

_

* * *

_

Matthew looked the note over critically. It was written on what was quite possibly the girliest stationary on the planet. It was pink with hearts and stars and tiny angels decorating its border. In fact, if he leaned in close enough he could swear it was even scented. The stationary had been forced on him by Michelle as soon as she heard he was trying to write a love note. She insisted that he couldn't write something so intimate on just any old 8 by 12 paper or worse still - _lined_ paper. She even threw around some arbitrary statistics, saying his chances of not being rejected increased by 39.82% just by using stationary (his chances increased to 83.64% if he'd just gather the balls to confess in person).

So here he was, in the library during study hall, writing on the girliest stationary Michelle could provide. Hey, he figured if he was going to have to use stationary he might as well go all out. His manly pride had already combusted the second he chose to confess via love note anyway. Matthew sighed, choosing to ignore the faint strawberry scent coming from the paper and the rather distasteful design and proofread its contents for what felt like the hundredth time.

It wasn't the most romantic or even most elegant love note written to be sure but he felt it got his point across. Besides, he had never been particularly gifted with words so this was probably as good as it was going to get. (Plus he quoted Shakespeare and anything more than that would probably be overkill).

Now, as for how to address Katyusha. He had been mulling over it for the better part of an hour. Should he address her politely by her full name or by nickname? He always addressed her as Kat when he spoke to her in person so shouldn't it be the same on paper?

Letting out a disgruntled groan, Matthew let his head fall forward and land with a dull thunk on the wooden desk. It shouldn't be this complicated. Kat or Katyusha; it shouldn't even matter. He tried to convince himself that if Katyusha didn't feel the same then how he addressed her would not make an iota of a difference but it was useless. Some part of him _insisted _that this would be the make it or break it detail. After all, how many girls refused to go on a second date with a guy based on his tie or some other inane detail? Girls were kind of OCD like that. It was frustrating him so much he was half-considering just sending it without a name.

After nearly two years of having a crush on Katyusha, he had finally gathered enough courage to confess (in the most indirect and cowardly way possible). Katyusha was one of his few close friends. They had met after being partnered up for a Geography project during their freshman year. Their quiet and subdued personalities had clicked right after several meetings that consisted of nothing but awkward silences and they had been friends ever since.

Somewhere along the line those feelings had grown into something more. Of course it wasn't completely unexpected. Katyusha was rather attractive and... Erm, gifted. Matthew was sure she had been confessed to at least once before. She caught the eyes of boys with her... assets but most lost interest after realizing she was painfully shy (and the few that weren't were quickly scared off by her younger brother and sister).

But it was that shy personality that drew him closer. The saying went that opposites attract but that just wasn't the case with Matthew. Opposites attract when it comes to magnets and Hollywood movies, sure, but he always felt most comfortable with girls that were similar to him. He was attracted to quiet personalities that he could just sit and enjoy silence with. Shy smiles and stolen glances were his weakness. There was something about catching Katyusha staring at him and having her avert her gaze as soon as their eyes met that sent an electric rush through Matthew. It was the kind of innocence he'd always pictured with high school romance.

Besides, he felt he could handle Ivan and Natalya. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully.

He could do this. He had to do this. He couldn't graduate thinking about what might've, would've, should've happened. He already had too many regrets - he couldn't let his one chance at love be one of them.

With new found determination, Matthew carefully folded the note and stuffed it into its matching envelope before sealing it with a heart shaped sticker provided by Michelle.

* * *

"Yong soo, you're absolutely, positively sure this is her locker?" Matthew asked, fidgeting nervously with the pink envelope in his hands.

"Of course. It says right here in the school records," Yong soo replied proudly, brandishing the papers. Somehow, the boy had gotten a copy of the list the school kept of which locker belonged to which student. Matthew highly suspected some illegal hacking had been involved.

"I don't want to know."

"You really don't," Yong Soo replied, calmly adjusting his black uniform tie. "Now, are we gonna do this or what?"

Matthew nodded but didn't move from his spot across from Katyusha's locker. He was still trying to gather his resolve when Yong Soo pushed him and sent him careening to the locker face-first. It was only by some stroke of luck that he managed to stop himself before he broke his nose on the locker door. Red was a great color and all, but he highly doubted Katyusha would appreciate him painting her locker red with his blood. He paused to throw Yong Soo a dirty look before slipping the letter in through the gap in the locker door.

He stepped back to stare at the locker for a second in amazement. The weight of what he had done washed over him. Today his high school life could change for better or for worse. Today, after a 16 year long dry spell, he might finally get a girl friend. Matthew Williams - asexual no more.

(That thought made him feel downright giddy).

Now he just had to wait for Katyusha's response.

"You know, love letters were invented in Korea."

And Matthew was in such a good mood, he didn't even bother correcting Yong Soo.

* * *

It was lunchtime and Matthew was on the verge of a mental breakdown. It was time. He would probably get his response right here, right now - in a crowded cafeteria that smelled of grease and last week's fish sticks.

Katyusha had to have gone to her locker. She always dropped off her textbooks from first and second period before meeting up with Matthew and the rest of their friends at their usual table in the cafeteria. She had to have seen that gaudy pink envelope by now.

His palms were sweating, his stomach was slowly trying to climb up his oesophagus and out his mouth and his eyes kept darting to the door before drifting back down to his sandwich. He couldn't do this. He couldn't handle rejection. He could barely handle it when teachers said "Hm... Close but not quite" in response to his answers in class (he knew it was their way of subtly telling him he was dead wrong). If Katyusha rejected him it would probably take litres and litres of maple syrup just to get him back to normal. _Why_ did he send that letter? Was it too late to break into her locker and take it back. Surely the woodshop class had _something_ to break locks-

Matthew nearly screamed when a hand fell on his shoulder. As it was he let out a very unmanly shriek.

"You okay?"

Matthew glanced up at the owner of the hand, seeing his friend, Carlos, peering nervously down at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Matthew said, laughing weakly. He picked up his sandwich and took a half-hearted bite if only to push his stomach down from his chest and back to his abdomen. Carlos didn't look entirely convinced but shrugged it off as he set his backpack onto the table.

"I'd watch out if I were you," Carlos said casually as he took the seat next to Matthew and began unpacking his lunch from his bag. "Jones came up to me on my way here and asked me if I knew a Matt."

"W-what? What does he want?" Matthew asked, turning to Carlos in surprise.

Matthew really couldn't imagine what Alfred F. Jones could possibly want from him. He only knew Alfred from rumours and hushed whispers in the hallways. The football team's star quarterback, social butterfly extraordinaire and the embodiment of the all-American boy. Alfred may as well have been from another planet from Matthew. If high school were a circus then Alfred would be the centre attraction while Matthew was content to sit in the audience and watch the show. He could count on one hand the number of words they had spoken to each other and he was actually kind of surprised Alfred even knew his name.

"Don't worry about it," Carlos replied, waving his hand dismissively. "He probably got some stupid idea in his head again. Maybe he wants to gather a Matt army to fight against communism. Who knows."

Matthew stifled a snort against his sandwich. "I think that's a bit too farfetched. Even for him."

"This is the guy who suggested cling wrap over the ice caps to stop them from melting, Matt. Don't worry, I told him I didn't know you anyway."

Matthew was about to reply when a frazzled Yong Soo ran up to them. He slammed his hands down on the table and opened his mouth several times, gulping down lungfuls of air while trying to speak at the same time. Matthew and Manuel paused eating their respective lunches to stare at the panting boy in interest.

"I... Mistake... Not... Hers."

"Breathe first, talk after."

Yong Soo nodded vigorously, still breathing heavily. After several minutes he finally caught his breath and was able to string a coherent sentence together.

"I-I'm sorry Matt," Yong Soo breathed. "I made a mistake. The locker lists I got was from last year, _daze_!"

"W-What?" Matthew's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god, whose locker was that?"

Yong Soo shrugged, pulling up a seat across from Matthew and Carlos. "It doesn't matter, you wrote her name on it right? Katyusha's a pretty unique name."

Matthew was about to let out a sigh of relief and agree with Yong Soo when he realized _he had forgotten to write a name_. He kept delaying writing a name in his indecision and in the end he had sealed the letter without addressing it to anyone in particular. Well, to be fair, he did describe her to have 'blonde hair, blue eyes and patent, black shoes'. Too bad that described a good handful of students at school.

"Crap."

"...You didn't write her name on it?"

"No," Matthew cried, running a hand through his hair. "I was debating on whether to write Kat or Katyusha and in the end... I-I didn't write anything down."

"Did you write _your _name down?" Carlos asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes," Matthew mumbled, burying his face in his arms. He didn't want to see the expressions on his friends' faces. He knew it would only confirm his suspicion that what he had done was monumentally stupid.

He willed God to strike him dead. He didn't even want to think of what was going to happen now. Somewhere in the school, someone was reading a love note with _his name on it_. And, oh God he had even quoted Shakespeare! He was going to be the laughing stock of the school once word spread. Matthew had always kind of wished he got more attention at school but he never wanted _this_ kind of attention.

There was a minute of thick silence and then...

"You know, misunderstandings were invented in Korea."

It kind of made Matthew want to choke Yong Soo with the kimchi he was eating.

* * *

Matthew could only hope that whoever got the letter had thrown it out or maybe the letter had spontaneously caught on fire.

Or maybe the person had no idea who Matt W was. Maybe writing his name would be as good as signing it as a secret admirer. He knew he wasn't well known at school. There was even one incident where a classmate wondered aloud who sat in his seat while he was _sitting in it_.

That student spent the rest of class wondering who was throwing bits of eraser at him.

Yes, if there was any time for his unfortunate powers of invisibility to work it had to be now. If there was any justice in the universe then the student who found the note would_ not know _who the hell Matt W was_._

He walked miserably to his locker after lunch. Maybe he would just skip the rest of the day. He was way too tired to deal with anything else at this point. He only had English next anyway and the teacher never noticed him. Besides, English was the class he shared with Katyusha and he really didn't want to spend an hour sitting next to her while wondering how on Earth he was going to find the courage to confess _again._

He was slowly making his way down the hallway when he spotted a boy leaning against his locker. The boy had blond hair and was wearing a distinctive brown, leather bomber that could only belong to one person-

"Um... Alfred?" Matthew began hesitantly, coming to a stop beside the boy.

Alfred looked around for a bit as if wondering where the voice was coming from before blue eyes settled on Matthew. "Oh, hey, found you. You're a hard guy to find, you know,"Alfred said with a laugh.

Everything about that sentence just managed to grate on Matthew's nerves. The cheery tone it was said in (Well, yeah, he could be as cheery as a unicorn since _he_ don't have to worry about an AWOL love note) to the fact that Alfred had implied that he was hard to find on purpose. It's not like Matthew was preparing for a career as a spy – it wasn't his fault no one noticed him.

(But, hey, he was probably just grumpy and looking for a reason to hate Alfred).

"Carlos told me you were looking for me?" Matthew replied absentmindedly, moving to open his locker.

"Yeah, I got your note."

Matthew froze before slowly turning to look at Alfred. To his horror the other boy was smiling sheepishly and holding up an unfortunately familiar pink envelope. He prayed fervently to any God that was listening that Alfred had found the note in his locker and realized there was no way something so pink and girly and gaudy could possibly be meant for him and was looking for Matthew to return it.

"Oh."

"Um, I was kind of shocked. I mean, no one ever does that kind of thing anymore. _Especially_ not on this kind of stationary. Like, dude, did you get this imported straight from Sanriotown? It looks like cupid puked on it," Alfred wrinkled his nose in distaste as he examined the pink envelope critically. He even brought it up to his nose as if to check if it was scented. Matthew was about to explain Michelle's twisted logic when the other boy continued.

"But that aside... I thought it was... I don't know - sweet," Alfred mumbled the last bit, a red blush working it's way on his cheeks as he looked away from Matthew. "No one does that kind of thing for me. I mean, if girls want a date with me they usually just ask me out for burgers and call it a day. Not the most romantic thing ever, right? But I just can't say no to burgers."

No no no this was not happening. Alfred couldn't possibly about to-

"A-and you said you liked everything about me," Alfred suddenly looked back to him, his expression almost painfully earnest. "No one's ever said that to me. It's always 'I like you but you're kind of fat' or 'your ideas are kind of stupid'. Not even my parents like everything about me and I know I'm not perfect so that's OK, but you said you like _everything_." Alfred emphasized the word with wonder in his tone. It only made Matthew fidget nervously as he thought about how he could possibly break it to Alfred that the note wasn't meant for him. How could he like everything about Alfred when he didn't know _anything_ about him? He didn't even know what the 'F' in his name stood for! In fact, Matthew decidedly liked Alfred less and less with every word he spoke. He especially hated that eager puppy look on Alfred's face that was making him feel like a bastard for what he was about to do.

"Oh, but just so you know - I'm always wiping my eyes because of allergies, not because I'm about to cry or anything," Alfred said hurriedly. "And I won't lie – I had to look up the CN Tower on Google, and yeah that thing is pretty big. I mean, not as big as some of the American buildings but – Wait. I'm getting side-tracked. What I meant to say is that one date won't kill me and I kind of like your style - even if it is a bit stalker-y..."

"Actually, the note-"

"So, I'll meet you here after school, OK, Matt?" Alfred flashed him another charming smile that would have made any girl within range weak in the knees (it only made Matthew feel a little more nauseous). And without waiting for a proper reply, Alfred turned around and disappeared off to wherever he came from.

Matthew could only stare after him in stunned silence as he walked away, note in hand.

Oh, maple, he _knew_ he should have mentioned Katyusha's breasts somewhere in the note.

* * *

A/N: Did you know girliest is not a word? I didn't know until I tried using it and Microsoft Word and my iPod Touch both corrected me. Meh, I plead artistic license.

Little notes because I couldn't fit them into the story:

1) In the line I used from Hamlet it's actually supposed to be a shitty poem that Hamlet wrote for Ophelia in a letter and he complains about being no good with words right after he pens it. I just thought it would be the kind of quirky line Matthew would pick ahhaa. Plus, I thought it was a pretty damn good poem. (But the 2nd and 4th line really only rhyme if you have an English accent).

2) In his letter Matthew refers to Katyusha as a blonde as in the feminine form of blond. Of course, Alfred doesn't pick it up because there's no room for French nuances in that pretty little head.

3)Sanriotown is where Hello Kitty and friends come from. It is the land of cute and sunshine where no one ever frowns because none of the characters have mouths.

Anyway, next chapter will be the date (and of course it will be at McDonalds because McDonalds is only second to Paris when it comes to romantic destinations. For broke students at least haha). Still writing on my ipod so please tell me if I missed an auto-correct word. It corrected gaudy to godly at one point and while lulzy it was pretty embarrassing. So, leave a review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Return to Sender**

A/N: I can't believe I forgot to put this up. I've had this finished forever and I've been running around thinking it's already out there on the internet somewhere. Ugh. I suck. Anyway here it is at last, nearly a year after it was intended to go up. I'll finish this story (probably) if I can remember where I was going with this.

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Hidekazu Himaruya. McDonalds also belongs to its rightful owner. And anything else you recognize? Probably not mine.

(Why do I always mention McDonalds anyway?)

* * *

Matthew figured his situation was a little bit like an avalanche. It hadn't started with a comically oversized snowball appearing out of nowhere; It started with a few missed details - he had forgotten to write Katyusha's name here and he had trusted Yong Soo there - that wouldn't have amounted to much on their own. But they had piled up into a bigger and bigger pile of problems and before Matthew realised what was happening, the entire mountain had fallen on top of him, leaving him trapped beneath the rubble.

(He still couldn't decide if Alfred would be considered the mountain or if he would be some poor hiker Matthew had managed to drag down with him.)

Letting out a frustrated groan, he let his head fall back against the cool metal of his locker. If he had just paid a bit more attention, if he hadn't mulled over Katyusha's name so goddamn much, if he had triple-checked Yong Soo's list because everyone knew the boy had problems with reading and comprehension, if he had just told Alfred off as soon as he approached Matthew at his locker-

He cut himself off abruptly. It was stupid to dwell on the past and replaying every mistake in excruciating detail certainly wasn't helping anyone. He should focus on the future - like how to let Alfred down gently.

Matthew nodded to himself enthusiastically, that one curl that stuck out of his head like an antennae bouncing in between his eyes. Yes, this was a sensitive issue and he would have to approach it with a bit of tact.

Plus, Alfred played all manners of sports and Matthew was just a little bit worried about what would happen if he angered the other boy.

Where was Alfred, anyway? It was already - he glanced down at his watch - thirty minutes after the final bell and he still hadn't shown up. The hallway was already deserted save for him and... And-

And Matthew realised with a sinking feeling what had happened. Alfred forgot about him. Of course.

It was to be expected. Sadly, this wasn't anything new to Matthew. Even his own parents had forgotten him once or twice.

Like that time when he was eight and they went to Disneyland without him. It was halfway down Splash Mountain that they finally realised that something more important than a camera was missing.

Matthew had woken up at noon, excited at the prospect of Disneyland, only to realise the house was empty. It had been kind of like Home Alone except a lot less fun because his parents chose to stay at Disneyland and make the most of their short vacation while Matthew had to stay at a friend's house.

(In their defense, they tried make it up to him by buying him loads of stuffed toys from the park.)

But... He hadn't even considered this possibility with Alfred because, well, Alfred set the plans himself and it would just be stupid for him to forget his own plans. Was Matthew really _that_ forgettable?

He shook his head angrily and ran a hand through his hair. This was stupid - why was he even feeling disappointed? This was his invisibility finally working in his favour! If Alfred forgot about the date then he could go home and they would both forget the entire love note thing even happened and he could go back to concentrating his efforts on wooing Katyusha.

Besides, it was already 3:34 and if Alfred was going to show up he would've done so 15 minutes ago.

Matthew picked up his backpack, alternating between seething over Alfred being an ass and feeling thankful that Alfred was so self-centred he had completely forgotten about him. He had only taken one step from his locker when he heard a loud voice behind him.

Matthew didn't know whether to be happy that Alfred remembered or upset because now he had to go through with the ridiculous date.

Matthew watched blankly as Alfred jogged up to him, his blond hair a mess and his leather jacket only partially pulled on.

"I'm really, really, really, _reallyreally_, really sorry, Matt," Alfred managed in between gasps for air as soon as he reached Matthew. Judging by the way his hair was plastered to his face by sweat, it looked like he had run all the way to Matthew's locker from wherever he had come from. "M-my lab partner asked me to stay behind and finish a lab report and, being the idiot that I am, I was like 'cool'. And we were halfway through our observations when I remembered I told you to meet me here after school. So then I hauled ass out of there - and my lab partner was _pissed_ at that - and ran all the way here and I'm really sorry I made you wait for so long but since you're here and I'm here we should go to McDonalds."

He punctuated the end of his breathless tirade with a dazzling smile that only confused Matthew further as he tried to piece Alfred's broken logic together.

"What?"

"Look I know you're mad," Alfred said, looking down at his sneakers before peering at Matthew nervously. He looked a little bit like a kicked puppy and Matthew hated him for it. "And I know I'm a jerk for forgetting but... But you waited this long and you can dump me after you finish eating if you want but at least let me treat you to McDonalds to make up for it."

Matthew blinked, his mind zeroing in on the four words that would be his 'get out of jail free' card. "I can dump you?"

Alfred winced at that before nodding. "I... I guess if you want? It's your choice but can you do it after we get to McDonalds? At least then comfort food would be only one line-up away."

Matthew could feel relief seeping into his bones. This was perfect. This way he wouldn't even have to tell Alfred that the note wasn't meant for him. He could grab a free burger and dump Alfred completely guilt free then go back to his pleasantly normal life.

Sweet.

Maybe his luck was finally turning around. He smiled at Alfred before gesturing in the direction of the school entrance. "OK, let's go, then."

* * *

"Two double cheeseburgers, make one a meal with fries and a coke, and one crispy chicken snack wrap with ranch sauce and one of those apple pie things, please," Alfred calmly listed off at the poor cashier who was now frantically pushing buttons in an attempt to keep up with him.

Matthew hovered behind Alfred awkwardly, slightly thankful that the other boy was ordering for him. He never knew what to order at McDonalds so the few times he ate there he always ordered the same thing - a McChicken.

"What do you want, Matt?"

"Eh?"

Alfred shot him a confused look and Matthew finally realised that he hadn't been ordering for the two of them.

"Oh," Matthew said dumbly, staring at Alfred in wonder. How did he even eat that much? Wouldn't he get sick? Where did it all _go_?

Alfred seemed to notice his shocked stare because he flushed hotly and turned away. "Hey, the physics lab is _really _far from your locker and I ran the entire way. Plus I haven't eaten here in awhile so it's OK."

"Y-yeah," Matthew stammered, a bit embarrassed that his horrified thoughts had been so easy to read. "Um... I'll just have a McChicken."

Alfred raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to the cashier. "And one McChicken meal, fries and a Coke, right, Matt?" Matthew began to protest that he really only needed the sandwich but Alfred had already pulled out his wallet to pay.

Matthew turned away to grab napkins and straws in an attempt to be helpful. As he turned around to place them on the tray he saw Alfred frantically trying to wave their cashier over.

He couldn't help but smile when he heard the other boy ask the cashier to change his soda into a Diet Coke in a hushed whisper.

* * *

Matthew tried to remind himself that he shouldn't judge other people's eating habits. It really wasn't any of his business but-

He tore his eyes away from the speckled laminate of the table and glanced at Alfred who was practically inhaling his meal. There was no other word for it - Alfred did to burgers what Hoovers did to dust mites.

"U-um Alfred," Matthew began, racking his brain for a conversation topic and feeling horrified when he still hadn't found anything to say by the time Alfred focused blue eyes on him. Normally he wouldn't even try to talk but with the way Alfred was going he was sure to choke and that would only make Matthew's bad day worse. Surely he couldn't talk and inhale burgers, right?

"Er... Why did you accept my, you know... Lo- um, letter" Matthew said, stumbling over the 'love' in 'love letter'. No way was he going to call it that unless he wanted the remnants of his dignity to spontaneously combust. He felt his face grow warm as Alfred stared at him thoughtfully, cursing himself for choosing such an embarrassing topic but it was bothering him, dammit, and he really couldn't see why a popular guy like Alfred would even bother tracking him down.

"Well, to be honest," Alfred said and Matthew cheered internally that Alfred had swallowed before trying to speak. He wouldn't have put it past Alfred to talk with his mouth full. "I was having a really shitty week."

"Huh?"

"It felt like half the world hated me. Like last week, I was trying to save this one girl from Braginsky - you know Braginsky, right? Big scary Commie? Yeah, him - so anyway I see Braginsky towering over some poor girl, telling her to leave him alone in that creepy ass voice of his and I ask myself - what would Superman do?"

Matthew nodded because, of _course _that was a perfectly reasonable question to ask in that situation. What did this have to do with his note, anyway?

"And I was like - well, duh, Superman would not allow that Commie to bully a poor girl like that. It may be OK in Soviet Russia but that is not cool in America. So I step in like a boss and tell Braginsky to leave her alone. I thought I was being all heroic and awesome when I feel this sharp pain in my arm," Alfred continued, gesturing animatedly as he spoke. Matthew had to admit that it was just a little bit mesmerizing. "So I look down and that chick _stabbed me with a pencil_. It went straight through my jacket!"

Matthew looked down at the sleeve Alfred was shoving in his face and there was, indeed a hole there. It wasn't a tiny pin-sized hole, either. It looked like the girl in question had somehow stabbed her entire pencil through the leather jacket.

"Geez, are you OK?"

"Yeah, luckily it was only a tiny wound. Anyway, she just looks at me with this deranged look in her eyes and tells me not to get in between her and her brother," Alfred sighed, taking another sip from his drink. "Anyway it turns out she was Braginsky's crazy little sister and she was violating a restraining order."

"Ah," Matthew replied, at a loss about what to say. Part of him wanted to tell Alfred it was his own fault for butting in while the other part argued that there was no way Alfred could have predicted that that would happen.

"It gets worse."

"Really?"

"I've been getting hate mail in my locker recently," Alfred admitted with a bitter laugh, his eyes trained on the little paper on his tray advertising a Big Mac. Matthew wondered if he wanted one or if Alfred just couldn't look him in the eye as he talked about it (what kind of high schooler got hate mail anyway?). "One person I could dismiss as a hater and haters are gonna hate, but-" Alfred glanced up at Matthew before looking back down at the tray and biting his lip. "But they all have different writing so there's several people who hate me enough to stuff hate mail in my locker."

Matthew felt his mouth drop open in shock. Not entirely at the news that Alfred got hate mail - because he tended to speak and act before thinking and that was bound to get him at least a few enemies - but how... _small_ and vulnerable he looked as he admitted it. Alfred had unconsciously hunched in on himself as he waited for Matthew's reaction and even that stupid cowlick that usually stood proudly at the top of his head seemed to droop.

But of course it was normal to feel that way after getting hate mail. Matthew knew he wouldn't be able to take _one_ person hating him let alone a group of them. He just hadn't thought that Alfred would be affected by it. He was always the cheerful hero of the school who never seemed to have a bad day - the one who helped little old ladies cross the street whether they wanted his help (or wanted to cross the street in the first place) or not.

Alfred was the type to do whatever the hell he liked without thinking of the consequences so Matthew had figured Alfred would just brush it off and continue on his merry way.

"Maybe it's just the same person changing their handwriting every time? Or... Or a joke by your friends?" Matthew tried. He wanted to comfort Alfred - really he did. If it were any of his friends he would immediately go on the defense about how awesome they were and how anyone who thought otherwise was crazy but he simply didn't know Alfred well enough to do the same for him.

"No, they looked a bit too sincere to be a joke," Alfred said, smiling sadly. "And it's still pretty sad that someone hates me enough to change their handwriting and stuff multiple notes into my locker."

"Stop reading them, then," Matthew huffed angrily, half-wondering how Alfred had been stupid enough to read past the first note. If it had been Matthew, he would have thrown them out immediately and maybe afterwards he would curl into a ball and die. "What the hell do they know about you?"

"Yeah, I guess that's the logical thing to do," Alfred laughed sheepishly and finally raised his blue eyes to meet Matthew. He looked a little bit warmed that Matthew had jumped to his defense. "I don't know. I was hoping that the notes would tell me what I did wrong... For future reference, you know?"

"You're an idiot," Matthew said but Alfred only laughed and continued on.

"But they don't even tell me what I did wrong! They just insult me, calling me a stupid American or whatever. That's the worst part about it because if I at least knew what was wrong I could apologize but..."

And it was at this point that Matthew really began to hate whoever was sending Alfred these awful letters. Sure he was loud and obnoxious and sometimes Matthew really _did_ hate him but Alfred always acted with the best intentions. What right did they have to criticize him when he was already trying his best to make everyone happy?

Those hosers had better pray that Matthew never found out who they were or they would be in for the worst pranks of their lives. Invisibility had certain perks, after all.

"Then I got your note and I was like 'great, now I've managed to piss a girl off,'" and to Matthew's intense embarrassment, Alfred pulled the note in question out of his pocket and stares at it with a fond smile. "But it was the complete opposite of hate mail and you said all sorts of nice things and you said you liked everything about me-" Matthew was really starting to regret adding that to the note. "-And it was like you cancelled out everything all the other notes said and it felt like," Alfred coughed, his face turning red. "I don't know... Like I had an ally in the world after all."

Matthew fidgeted guiltily in his plastic seat. He wanted to be that person for Alfred, he really did - God knew the other boy desperately needed it - but he _couldn't_. He liked Alfred (or at least thought he was a good person) but he didn't like him that much. He opened his mouth to interject but Alfred kept going.

"So even though I didn't know who this Matt W. was I was determined to hunt you down 'cause your note managed to erase every bad feeling I had from reading those other notes and I thought... I thought if I was with you then I wouldn't have to feel bad again."

There was a beat of silence.

"Ew, that was really sappy and emo," Alfred muttered, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "But it's still true. So I hope you don't dump me just because I was late."

"I-" Matthew cut himself off, looking down at his tray guiltily. He nearly chewed through his bottom lip as he braced himself for what was coming. "Sorry, but-"

"Agh, I screwed it up again," with an overly dramatic cry, Alfred buried his face in his arms. "It's just... Today's physics lesson was especially draining and I wasn't thinking properly after school and it just slipped my mind! It's stupid and I'm really sorry but I swear I won't forget again!"

Before Matthew could react, Alfred's head snapped up and he grabbed his hands across the table. Matthew tried free himself, looking around the restaurant nervously and hoping no one was around to see this embarrassing scene. To his dismay, Alfred kept his hands in a vice-like grip and seemed determined to hold on.

"I really won't forget again so _please_," Alfred said, his expression just as desperate as his words. "Please, please don't leave me."

"Dammit," Matthew cursed, looking down at the table and refusing to look directly at Alfred's face. He could feel his resolve crumbling but he couldn't let this go on!

Maybe Alfred really did need someone to help him get through whatever he was going through now but Matthew refused to be that person for him. Matthew wouldn't even know about his hate letters if it weren't for this terrible coincidence. He couldn't just pretend that the letter hadn't been meant for someone else - that wouldn't be fair to himself or Alfred.

Matthew was startled when he felt something warm touching his numb fingers. He looked up and saw Alfred leaning his forehead against their joined hands.

"_Please_," Alfred tried again. His voice was so small compared to his usual, enthusiastic, near-yell.

"OK."

Alfred's head shot up and his wide blue eyes met Matthew's. Then a goofy, happy smile began to spread across his face that Matthew found himself reluctantly returning.

Damn it, he was really going to hell for this.

* * *

OK so before you go "blah, hate mail. Seriously? I've read some crazy shit in fanfiction (anthropomorphic country sexins) but a student getting hate mail probably takes the cake" and I don't blame you because that's kinda what I'm thinking reading this a year later. BUT ANYWAY, my logic is that on the internet these days (or at least the very dark corners of the internet I hang out in) give America/Americans a hard time. I can't even count the times I've seen "'Murica, Fuck yeah" or "only in America posts" so don't think serious hate mail but more lame jokes like that.

Or whatever. IDK I WROTE THIS A YEAR AGO D:

EDIT: stupid ff ruined the layout. Hopefully it's fixed now


	3. Chapter 3

**Return to Sender  
**

A/N: You know what, I'm not even going to promise anything anymore because I keep breaking them. But there should be about 3 chapters left so you won't have to deal with my awful procrastination for long!

* * *

**hellopanda:** you have to keep going along with him.

**sensftw:** you mean keep dating him? WHY?  
**madeinkorea:** because it's a bad time to tell him the truth. He's already having a hard time from the hate mail.  
**hellopanda:** plus he might beat you up once you tell him.  
**iwatchtoomuchanime:** most importantly, I still need material for my doujinshi.  
**sensftw:** ...  
**senstftw:** what  
**hellopanda:** REALLY? Me too! Except i'm writing a novel  
**madeinkorea:** i'm writing a drama adaptation of his novel :-)  
**sensftw:** ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.  
**iwatchtoomuchanime:** we can't help it. This is the type of misunderstanding that only happens in shoujo manga! ( • ̀ω•́ )✧  
**madeinkorea:** yeah! This is PRIME TIME DRAMA material! All it needs is a love rival and someone getting cancer and we're set!  
**hellopanda:** so you'll continue helping us, right?

It was at that point that Matthew decided to log out from the chatroom and ask someone else for advice.

* * *

"Matthew, I feel like you need to be reminded of the definition of emergency," Michelle began, and the sugary sweet smile on her face contrasted perfectly with the way her hands were balled into tight fists. "Falling down the stairs and breaking both your legs? That's an emergency. Someone breaking into your house? Emergency."

She levelled a flat look at Matthew who was cowering pathetically from her on his front porch. "You having another of your emo, existential crises?" She smiled coldly. "_Not_ an emergency."

"This is an emergency!" Matthew insisted stubbornly. "How do you know it's not an emergency when you haven't heard me out yet?"

"Matthew, you called us at midnight saying this was the direst emergency, and I rushed over here thinking your dumb dog ran away, or your house was on fire." Michelle peered coolly over Matthew's shoulder to his front door. "Your house is not on fire, Matt."

"And your dog is in your lap," Francis, Matthew's older cousin pointed out from beside Michelle. "Though now that I look at it... It's- It's not dead is it?"

"He's asleep!" Matthew snapped back irritably. "And maybe I exaggerated a _little_ but since you're both hear anyway maybe you could snark and help me at the same time?"

They both sighed exasperatedly, but took a seat on either side of Matthew on his front porch.

"I'm sorry, ok? I just- I didn't know who else to ask and I had to call you over tonight because I'm going to see them tomorrow and-"

"Matthew," Francis cut in, looking uncharacteristically serious. "Is it a girl?"

Michelle's high pitched squeal on his other side was enough to scare Kumajirou off Matthew's lap with a startled bark. "Is it Kat? I told you the Hello Kitty stationary never fails and-"

"Ah, but this is sooner than I expected! I'll have to teach you all my foolproof techniques for pleasing the ladies and-"

"Ew, _gross_, Francis. Matthew doesn't want to learn that stuff. He just wants to know good date spots, right, Matt?"

"Then I will show you the most magnificent spot in the park! The view is beautiful at sunset and there is a grove close by where no one will notice if you decide to get a little intimate-"

"_Gross_, Francis. Anyway, I recommend this crepe shop where-"

"It's a boy," Matthew muttered darkly.

There was a beat of silence and both Francis and Michelle stared at him in shock.

"Should...Should I teach you my foolproof techniques for pleasing men?" Francis tried awkwardly.

* * *

"-And that's what happened!" Matthew finished, sighing. "Anyway, I don't know what to do because Alfred just kind of hears what he wants to hear and when he hears something he doesn't want to hear he pulls this face like a kicked puppy and I can't say no to _kicked puppies_!"

"You have to tell him, Matt," Michelle said, looking serious, and that was exactly the sort of advice Matthew didn't want to hear so he cut in hurriedly.

"I- But _hypothetically_ is there a way out of this without doing that?" Matthew tried. At the unimpressed looks he received from Francis and Michelle he quickly continued. "I said _hypothetically_. Telling the truth will be plan B for now."

"Like... Like say if I dated him until he got sick of me," Matthew suggested. He couldn't quite look at Michelle and Francis as he did so because even he was unimpressed by his cowardice. "I mean he's Alfred and he's popular so it shouldn't take more than a week, right?"

He looked to his friends for support but found them both staring at their shoes uncomfortably.

And the fact that this was probably a Bad Idea was starting to sink in so his voice faltered a little as he repeated, "Right?"

Francis was the first to break the silence with a heavy sigh. "Matthew, Alfred is my friend, but you're my cousin," And it was when he was serious like this that Matthew was reminded of why he looked up to Francis so much despite his perverted jokes. "You sound like you've already decided and I know you're only suggesting this because you don't want to hurt Alfred's feelings but..."

"But sometimes having someone pretending to like you can hurt more than outright rejection," Francis finished with a sad smile. "Just remember that, OK?"

It was cryptic and Matthew felt like he didn't really get it, but Francis never gave out faulty love advice so he nodded and turned to Michelle for her reaction.

"What about Kat?" Michelle asked quietly. Matthew could tell by the hard look in her eyes that right now she was looking out for one of her best friends. He had no doubt that if she didn't like his answer he was in for a world of hurt.

"It's not like I stopped liking her!" Matthew protested. "But it's not like she knows right now and... I was just hoping this would all kind of blow over before she found out."

Michelle eyed him warily.

"I'll- I'll fix this," Matthew whispered, as much for her benefit as his.

That much was true, at least. That warm, comfortable feeling he got when he thought about Katyusha was still there. The giddy hopefulness that she might feel the same way was there as well.

But he just didn't think he could act on his feelings for her until he fixed this problem with Alfred. She deserved someone better than a clumsy idiot who mucked things up and then ran away from his problems. Matthew owed it to himself - and to this thing he might have with Katyusha - to face the mistakes he made.

Now the only problem was _how_.

* * *

'Alright, Matthew, Francis was right.' And god those were words Matthew never imagined he'd be thinking to himself. 'Leading someone on is _wrong_. There is a very high chance of shit hitting the fan and it would be smarter just to come clean with Alfred.'

Matthew nodded firmly to himself as he opened his locker door. He was slowly psyching himself up for the confrontation with Alfred because this was going to take more courage than Matthew felt he had, and maybe a little pep talk was what he needed to store up a bit more. Last night's talk had done him a world of good but there was still a small, nagging corner of his mind that was pleading for a solution that didn't involve hurting Alfred.

'It's simpler to tell Alfred the truth. Alfred who could probably undo all the good the braces from elementary school did your teeth with one punch. Alfred who tackled a guy so hard the kid broke 3 ribs. Alfred who could inflict _serious_ pain on you if he had a reason to-'

Matthew cut that train of thought off with a sharp exhale. His palms were starting to sweat and stick to the cool metal of his locker. He was already nervous enough, thank you, no need to add fear of physical injury to the equation.

"Good morning, Mattie!" Someone shouted cheerily in Matthew's ear, causing Matthew to drop the books he was pulling out of his locker with a shriek.

Matthew whirled around in shock, catching sight of a brown, leather bomber, blond hair, and a too bright smile. "Good morning," Matthew said, still trying to calm his frantic heart. "I- Wait- Mattie?"

"It's cute right?" Alfred replied, his smile widening. Before Matthew could say anything about the name being inappropriate because, yes, it was cute, which was why it didn't fit him because he was the manliest of all men, Alfred continued in rapid fire speech. "It came to me last night while I was trying to figure out what to call you. Like, Matthew is too formal and that's what teachers call you, and Matt is out because I have a co-worker named Matt and I'll get confused but then it came to me - _Mattie_."

Alfred paused and looked at Matthew expectantly, obviously expecting him to fall over in awe at his genius.

"My mom calls me Mattie..." Matthew muttered dryly, causing Alfred to burst out laughing. "A-anyway, nevermind about that - we need to to talk."

Maybe… Maybe a slight change in the plan was needed.

Since he couldn't reject Alfred outright, and last night's talk made it clear that going along with things wasn't right either, Matthew executed Plan C; Convince Alfred He Is Making a Terrible Mistake.

Because this was definitely a terrible mistake. There were many reasons they weren't suited for each other and this whole dating thing was a bad idea waiting to blow up in their faces.

And Matthew really wasn't just saying that because he had no interest in a relationship with Alfred.

They… They were on completely different ends of the spectrum in nearly _everything_. Matthew was shy and quiet, Alfred was louder than a freight train. Matthew had a few close friends and Alfred's last house party had over 50 people and the cops showing up.

(And they didn't show up to _arrest_ people. No, the cops were there to party too. The story was legendary in their high school.)

That was the part that really bothered Matthew. It was no secret that Alfred was popular – being on the student council, the football team, and a bit of a charmer tended to do that. Matthew was also well aware that he only had a few close friends and that he faded to the background the rest of the time. And he was fine with the way things were.

But if word started getting around that he was 'dating' Alfred – and they _would_ with the way Matthew's luck has been going lately – that would change. He'd have to deal with people wondering 'who the hell is Matthew?' and whispering 'why _him_?' in the hallways.

Matthew didn't want to have to deal with that. He didn't want people to start noticing him because of who he was dating. He _especially_ didn't want the attention over someone he was fake-dating.

He just had to convince Alfred he didn't want that either.

"Uh… Alfred, won't it be weird?" Matthew began. Now or never, Williams. "I-I mean you're popular and… I'm kind of not-" Really, _really_ not. "-Won't people talk?"

Alfred stared at him seriously for a few seconds. He seemed to think about it for all of a second before shrugging broadly. "Who cares?" He said. "I'm dating you, not them."

The way Alfred made it seem so simple and natural and Matthew gaped at him. There was _no_ _way_ the answer was that easy because people have been writing stories and making movies with this exact plot for _decades_.

Alfred seemed oblivious to Matthew's surprise, already moving on to a different subject. "Bell's about to ring," He said, grabbing Matthew's hand. Matthew stared down at their interlinked hands and tried to remember how to breathe. Alfred's hand felt warm in his and surprisingly soft, and this was actually kind of nice… "I'll walk you to class."

As Matthew hurried after him he couldn't help but think '_wow_, Alfred's a really good guy.'

And, god, he never imagined he'd think _that_ either.

* * *

His plan wasn't exactly going as expected, but Matthew still had 39 more possible 'break-up points' to try.

With that in mind, he brought it up again while eating lunch with Alfred.

"Alfred... I'm a guy," was what Matthew started with as he unwrapped his sandwich.

Alfred smiled at him indulgently over his burger. "Yes, I've noticed, Mattie."

"W-Well," Matthew blushed to the tips of his ears. He had no idea how to go about this delicately. "I-I didn't know you were… Like that."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to take them from the air and shove them right back down his throat. That wasn't delicate at all! It wasn't even close and now Alfred would break up with him, and yeah, that was Matthew's goal from the start but not like _this_.

Alfred's smile only grew wider and Matthew got the distinct feeling that the jerk was enjoying his mortification. He wanted to bury his head in his backpack and maybe never resurface again.

"I don't really think of myself as one way or another." Alfred finally said, after he was done laughing at Matthew. He didn't do it out loud, but the way his blue eyes crinkled at the edges – Matthew distantly thought they were most like the Pacific Blue crayon – said he was laughing on the inside and that was even worse. "Alright, Mattie, I'm about to tell you a secret and if you laugh at me I swear I'll beat you up."

"I won't laugh, I swear," Matthew squeaked because a beat down was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid this entire time.

"Alright," Alfred said, looking relieved. "It's a little bit stupid but I think there's one person out there who's perfect for me. Y'know, the one who was made just for you? Someone… Someone who'll like all the good things and the bad things, who'll tell you when you're out of line, and maybe let you hog the remote…"

Matthew had never expected Alfred would be that much of a romantic, but then again, Alfred was caught seriously discussing the plausibility of unicorns with the Scottish exchange student so maybe this wasn't too much of a stretch either.

"It's just… I don't know who it is, what they look like, or anything. So it would be kind of silly for me to miss out on this perfect person just because I didn't give everyone a fair chance, right?" Alfred looked down and Matthew could tell he was kind of regretting bringing it up. "I mean, it could be a person I already met or someone I'm gonna meet. It could be someone younger, older, in another country or whatever."

Alfred paused, looking at him defiantly as if daring Matthew to laugh. Matthew was pretty certain he didn't feel like laughing – not just because Alfred could probably beat him to an inch of his life if he did – but there was just nothing funny about it. Love and soul mates and things like that were a mystery to him and some people went their entire lives without really figuring it out. Matthew honestly had no clue when it came to love. He didn't even know how he felt about Katyusha - did he think she was his soul mate? Did he _love_ her? - so he wasn't in any position to tell Alfred he was wrong.

He was almost jealous that Alfred at least had a theory on it while he was still stumbling around blind.

"So anyway, what I'm saying is that I'm giving you a chance," Alfred continued, looking suspiciously pink around his cheeks. "And, well, if you don't turn out to be that person then at least I can cross you off the list, right?"

Matthew could only nod as he returned to his sandwich. At least after all this he could cross Alfred off his list too.

"Though with the love note and everything I have to say you're doing pretty well so far," Alfred mumbled. When Matthew looked up at him in surprise, he quickly ducked his head to hide the beginnings of a shy smile.

* * *

After awhile it seemed like Matthew's plan was working. Somehow.

"Matt," Alfred began, leaning against Matthew's locker and looking uncharacteristically serious. "We need to talk."

And Matthew gaped at him for a second because - _oh wow half-baked schemes actually work outside of cartoons_ - before he shut his locker with a faked sigh. "I guess so."

"Listen," Alfred said, before cutting himself off. He bit his lip, looking like he was trying to figure out how to word something delicately. This was it. He was finally realizing that dating Matt was a Bad Idea for many reasons. "I- I can't help but notice you put yourself down a lot."

"Yeah," Matthew said absent-mindedly. He was busy thinking about kicked puppies and melting ice caps in order to get himself into the right frame of mind for the upcoming break up. Obviously Alfred would expect him to be at least a little sad and there was nothing more depressing than drowning polar bears.

"I'm not really any good with words and I'm worse at stuff like this." Alfred let out a nervous chuckle, hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I just think-"

_This isn't really working out._

"-You should stop being so hard on yourself."

"What." Matthew said, flatly. His eyes were still stinging from the mental image of a polar bear drowning while getting food for her cubs because she was just so tired and the next ice block was just so far away and _dammit it was _so_ sad_. But through the haze of depression he could vaguely make out that the conversation wasn't exactly going as planned.

He had to blink through the burn of unshed tears to shoot Alfred a quizzical look.

"Hey, wait, I don't mean it's bad or anything but- Wait it is bad and you should stop-" Alfred said hurriedly, mistakenly thinking he'd offended Matthew so badly he was on the verge of tears. He cut himself off with a frustrated sound and brought his hand up and reached out as if to touch Matthew before hesitating. They stared at each other for a beat, Alfred biting his lip and looking unsure, and Matthew halfway in despair because of the polar bears and half because Alfred just _didn't get it_.

Alfred stared at him for a second longer before something in his expression shifted and he was wrapping his arms around Matthew in a hug. It was just tight enough to feel warm and comforting without being suffocating and Matthew was still wondering what he did to deserve it.

"It's just... You make it seem like I'm this perfect hero who's too good to be dating you and I'm not," Alfred continued quietly, and they were standing so close his breath fanned out hotly against Matthew's cheek.

"Well... At least I'm not perfect. I might be a little bit of a hero." Alfred laughed and the sound was doing things to Matthew. A weird pressure in his stomach that fluttered up his chest before swooping down and rattling everything in its way, leaving him a bit off balance. It was… _weird_, but not exactly unpleasant.

"Anyway what I really want to say is relax. I think you're great as you are."

Matthew should have felt embarrassed because he was hugging it out with Alfred in a hallway where anyone could walk by and this was certainly not in the plan but all he could think about as he instinctively pressed a little closer and rested his cheek against Alfred's shoulder was-

'You're so nice and this would be easier if I could hate you.'

* * *

This was far enough. He needed to tell Alfred that he wasn't interested in dating him. Matthew needed to kill this right now, because it was clear from their conversations that Alfred took dating seriously.

That and the fact that Alfred was completely different from what Matthew expected. He'd expected a class clown – all bravado, stupid jokes and goofy smiles. But instead Alfred turned out to be kind and insightful in ways Matthew didn't expect. He was a good friend and his smile _was_ goofy, but in a good way, and it never failed to make Matthew smile back and –

No, nope, not even going there right now.

So after school he decided to go to Alfred's locker and come clean about everything. He would even let Alfred hit him because Matthew totally deserved it.

"A-Alfred I-" Matthew began, gathering the last of his courage desperately. Except, he found he couldn't force the words out when he saw what Alfred was staring at.

In his hands was a piece of folded, lined paper, and Matthew could guess what was inside. He could see Alfred was trying to open it with trembling fingers, and before he could think of the consequences, Matthew snatched the note away, balled it up, and threw it into the nearby garbage can.

"Sweet! It went in," Matthew cheered to a dumbstruck Alfred. "I hardly ever get it in even when the trash can is _right there_."

Alfred was still staring at him in a silent mixture of shock and horror. Matthew thought that maybe he was thinking of digging through the trash for the note.

"Hey, stop reading those things, alright?" Matthew said. "You already know there's nothing in there for you so there's no point."

"But it would be rude to throw it out without reading it right?" Alfred reached for the note again only to have Matthew block his path. "I- Imagine if I threw_ your_ note out without reading it! Then we wouldn't be here right now."

That was enough to give Matthew pause but he still had enough sense to move when Alfred got too close to the bin.

He found himself thinking wistfully of an alternate universe where Alfred was smart enough to throw out the notes he got. None of this would have happened and-

Matthew jerked himself back to reality. Alternate universe or not, this was what he got and damn it, he was going to make this work. Besides, it wasn't all bad. He was glad he met Alfred because Alfred was nice, genuine, funny, and nowhere near as obnoxious as the rumours made it seem - he just sometimes wished the circumstances of their meeting was better.

"Well you shouldn't be looking at other love notes anyway!" Matthew replied. "You already have mine."

That was enough to bring a heated flush to Alfred's cheeks and his mouth twisted in funny half-embarrassed, half-pleased smile. "I know. That's not what I-" Alfred laughed hollowly and when he looked at Matthew there was a strange mixture of fear, nervousness, and resignation in his eyes. "Matt, I _need to read it_."

Matthew took in the way his shoulders slumped as he admitted it, the furrow in his brow that said he really didn't want to read the note at all but that it was killing him at the same time to not know.

Matthew felt his temper flare at Alfred's sheer _idiocy_ and stubbornness because he had to be at least a little bit masochistic to keep reading notes that he _knew_ contained nothing but insults.

"No, you don't, Alfred," He said firmly, placing his hands on Alfred's shoulders to force him to meet his eyes instead of straining to look at the note still lying innocently at the top of the trash heap. "You don't need some coward who isn't even brave enough to say it in person telling you you're an idiot. These people don't know anything about you!"

And truthfully Matthew didn't know Alfred either. Not as closely as someone like Francis or Arthur, at least. But he felt like he knew enough. He at least knew firsthand how unpretentious Alfred was - how he didn't make fun of the creepy invisible kid for sending him love letters (even though that reaction would have been understandable, even expected).

Even though they were on completely different ends of the high school food chain, Alfred not only gave him a chance, but he also made it seem like it was the most natural thing to do.

Matthew had seen enough of the world to know there very little of it was still that pure and naive. He wasn't about to let some hoser hiding behind anonymity ruin Alfred.

"_I_ know you," Matthew said, staring straight into his eyes. Face the problem head on - that was the plan from now on. "I'm telling you that you don't need to see what's inside that note."

Alfred was staring at him as if transfixed, his blue eyes wide and almost glazed behind his glasses. Matthew chuckled awkwardly because maybe that was a little too much honesty and he slowly began to remove his hands from Alfred's shoulders.

"But if you want to hear about how awesome you are you're better off just re-reading my note," Matthew joked, making to step back out of Alfred's personal space. "I'm gonna act like some groupie-"

Matthew cut himself off when Alfred suddenly pitched forward, his forehead landing cleanly on Matthew's shoulder and his arms wrapping around his waist.

"Eh!" Matthew yelped, arms flailing uselessly at his sides because _physical contact_ and this was weird and kind of nice-

He brutally squashed down that line of thought because he was not going there either.

"You're so nice, Matt," Alfred mumbled into his shirt. "I'm so glad I met you."

Alfred didn't seem like he was letting go any time soon and it wasn't like Matthew could break out of his grip so with a sigh he tentatively wrapped his arms around Alfred's shoulders.

They remained like that for a few moments, Alfred content to leave his face smothered in Matthew's uniform shirt and Matthew absentmindedly running his hands across the smooth leather jacket covering Alfred's shoulders.

After awhile, Alfred spoke again.

"I- I really hope you're the person who's meant for me," Alfred whispered, smothering the words further against Matthew's shirt.

"What?" Matthew said, stilling his hands.

"Nothing," Alfred said quickly, stepping away and already missing Matthew's warmth.

No way was he repeating that. He already felt stupid enough for telling Matthew his whole philosophy on love over lunch. That was totally not smooth, Jones. "I have to get to practice. You'll come watch right?"

Alfred's heart definitely did not skip a beat when Matthew smiled and nodded. And… And if it did that was probably just a decade of bad eating habits catching up to him, right?

* * *

OMAKE:  
**hellopanda:** so then what happened?  
**sensftw:** nm, really. He just made me stay behind and watch his football practice so we could walk home together  
**iwatchtoomuchanime:** and then you lost your virginity to him in the locker room  
**sensftw:** WHAT  
**madeinkorea:** and when you got home you received a call from your doctor saying they found a tumor during your last routine check-up  
**sensftw:** DOES THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO ANYONE EVER  
**hellopanda:** I can already see Elizaveta frothing at the mouth for the next installment.


End file.
